Tips to Help Marriage Moving Forward
Carve out time for the two of you. Part of the transition to parenthood entails placing a priority (albeit usually second place) on the marriage itself. So you should use a baby-sitter, a relative, or friend to get some time alone with each other. But remember, you haven't failed if you end up spending a lot of your "dates" discussing the baby--you've succeeded. As the baby grows into a toddler and then becomes school-aged, you'll find that your conversations when you're alone together won't always gravitate toward your child and your role as parents. Be sensitive to Dad's needs. Even if he is a good team player and is making the philosophical shift toward parenthood along with his wife, the man is still going to feel somewhat deprived by the baby's overwhelming and seemingly endless need for her. Even if, intellectually, he understands that the baby's needs supplant his own in priority, he's going to miss his wife. The more his wife acknowledges what he has given up and lets him know how central he still is to her life, the more understanding and supportive he will be able to be. If she never has any time for just the marriage, he will have a tendency to withdraw from the relationship. Give Mom a break. For all the daily wonders a mother experiences during the newborn stage, she is also likely to be exhausted. It will help their marriage if her husband will modify his work hours so he can come home earlier and on the weekends take over for her now and then so that she can get a needed break to sleep, see a friend, or a movie, or do whatever else she needs to feel part of the world again. Couples who follow this advice will discover that parenthood doesn't drag down their relationship but elevates it to a new level of closeness, understanding, and love for each other. If that's the case, you are dealing with a perpetual problem. Avoiding or breaking out of gridlock over such a problem is one of the chief challenges all couples face. My next principle will show you just how to save--or protect--your marriage from your irreconcilable differences. Dreams can operate at many different levels. Some are very practical (such as wanting to achieve a certain amount of savings), but others are profound. Often these deeper dreams remain hidden while the more mundane dreams piggyback on top of them and are easier to see. For example, underneath the dream to make lots of money may be a deep need for security. what dreams are made of Often our deepest dreams are rooted in childhood. You may long to re-create some of your warmest memories of family life from your youth--such as having dinner together every night without interruptions from the TV or telephone. Or, you may feel the psychological need to distance yourself from painful childhood memories by not duplicating the same activities. For example, you may resist having family dinners if the evening meal in your childhood home was often the scene of hostility between your parents that left you with indigestion. Dating with the purpose of getting married is still one of the main scopes of our lives.If you want to know more about
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