Little Lies

After a messy break-up with your significant other months ago, your best friend finally talked you into joining an online dating service.  Now that you’ve registered, completed a brief questionnaire and submitted your most recent photo, you’re excited about meeting someone new. But, what your friend failed to tell you is that what you see online, isn’t always what you get in person.

Let me share with red flags which signal potential dates to avoid.  R U free 2nite?  The “texter” who has a few seconds to send text messages, but is always too busy or not available to actually chat on the phone or via email.  This type likes communication to be kept to a minimum, unless s/he initiates it.  Dates are often made and cancelled at the last minute with a variety of excuses used.  S/he is often out of town a lot and inaccessible.  These are common signs of someone who is not single and/or not being honest with you.  Move on.  You can do much better.

Beauty or beast?   Beware of dishonesty through photo misrepresentation.  Note that a good profile usually provides more than one photo of that person.  If the photo looks too professional, chances are, it is – and perhaps even “borrowed” from somewhere else.  And yes, there are people who deliberately post their high school photo from 15 years ago to attract your interest. 

Think you hit the jackpot when you get a nice response with a good-looking photo?  One of the ways competing online dating sites draw you in is by responding to you with profiles of “beautiful people” from another dating site.  After you’ve clicked over to that site and signed up to meet that gorgeous creature, oftentimes you’ll find they don’t even exist.  Save your time and money by responding to those who are members of your dating site.

Little lies.  So you recently arranged to meet that single, 6’4”, trim and muscular, brown-haired former college basketball captain whom you found online.  Upon meeting in person, you find out that the only thing true in his description of himself was his hair color.  Some believe that telling “little lies” on their profile with regard to a couple inches in height or a couple pounds in weight won’t matter.  Be aware that those who misrepresent themselves on the “little things” may have no problem lying about “bigger things” such as their marital status and age.  Don’t settle for what you read in a profile.  Verify the information they have offered by asking about their age, relationship status, height and weight.  They may refuse to answer your questions or they may provide different information.  Or, everything may measure up.  Regardless, you’ll have a better idea of that person’s honesty and whether or not you really want to meet him/her.

Avoid the online profile that disrespects and rips an ex-lover to shreds or simply informs you of those aspects s/he doesn’t want in a date.  For example, “looking for someone without issues - unlike my fat, drunk ex.”  Or, “if you’re needy, jealous and selfish, look elsewhere”.  These are profiles that signal potential anger issues.  Statements such as these come from someone who has recently ended a relationship or is emotionally scarred from a past relationship and really not happy.  Leave them be.  You don’t need to be their sounding board or rebound date.  They’re not ready to date now and won’t be until they can move on.