The Chemistry of Love

Love is the strongest motivator to live. It is also the biggest cause of heartbreaks. More powerful than the desire for life, richer than every other emotion in all its hues and creative in its every manifestation, love is many a splendoured thing.

Though love by another name would still be love, there have been varied attempts at its definition. Crooned Nat King Cole, "L is for the way you look at me, O is for the only one I see, V is very, very extraordinary, E is even more than anyone that you can adore..."

For romantics, love is a miracle, a blessing. But, if we lift our pink shades for a moment to put the emotion under a microscope, it might evoke questions. Does this wonderful feeling live in our hearts, minds, or in our heads? Should we thank our biology for it, or could it be a matter of sheer chemistry between two people?

Spark unplugged

It's pure chemistry," says 25-year-old Linda Baker from Wisconsin, US: "It's an immediate attraction and connection to someone. It can develop over time, but there is a definite initial spark.

While Tuhin Sinha, author of the recently-published novel, That Thing Called Love, believes that, "It's an instinct that grows into an emotion," Pradeep Nambiar, who had an arranged marriage, says, "Even without much scope for courtship, one knows if there would be chemistry with the prospective partner. It took me three months to fall in love with her completely." He recalls, "But, when I met her I knew that there was a chemistry."

Jr Margaret Rogers Van Coops, a clinical hypnotherapist, healer specialising in alternative therapies, and counsellor, explains: "Love is a feeling of acceptance and togetherness in harmony." Speaking to CW, she said, "Two people come together and share themselves by exchanging energy, words, thoughts, and emotions. They are motivated by this union to move forward individually, or in a side-by-side action."

Brain scans of people in love have revealed that love at an early stage is not so much an emotion as it is a motivational drive to win the love of someone. Helen Fisher, an anthropologist, found out that the early stages of a romantic relationship spark activity in dopamine-rich areas of our brain associated with motivation and reward. The more intense the relationship, the greater the activity. The most important part seems to be the reward system - the part of the brain that lets you focus your attention, gives you elation, and the ability to get what you want. In this case, a beloved. The regions associated with emotion are activated only later in a relationship."

Give and take

It's the quest for pleasure that makes us fall in love, says Dr Sri Chaitanya, a psychoneuroimmunologist. He calls love anandamayabhyasat [seekers of happiness; in this case, love] and quotes a sloka: <i>Dadati prati grihnati, guhyam akhyati prucchati, bhunktam bhnjayate chaivam, shadvidh priti lakshanam</i> [Giving something, taking something, feeding something and to eat something, and speaking everything, no secrecy].

Love Blooms

 -  Red Chrysanthemum = I love

 - Balsam = Ardent love

 - Red Balsam = Impatient yet resolved to win your love

 - Ambrosia = Love returned

 - Amarnath {globe} = Unfading love

 - Yellow Acacia = Secret love

 - Azalea = Love, romance

Love Binds

Does this, in other words, mean that love is blind? Absolutely! Love is known to blind us to everything other than the best qualities of our sweetheart. Scientists have found that when people look at their lovers, the neural circuits that are normally associated with critical social assessment of other people are suppressed. When no longer madly in love, the hormone levels return to normal.

When we share a chemistry with another person, chances are that this is really a general activity of neurochemicals. Cupid's arrows would have been ineffective if not first dipped in an unromantically-named chemical.

When two people are attracted to each other, neurochemicals gush forth.ss The common symptoms of love, including sweaty palms, shaky knees and general restlessness, are caused by a natural chemical, phenylethylamine [PEA, dubbed the "love molecule"]. Its release from the brain can be triggered from deceptively simple actions like the meeting of the eyes, or touching of the hands. Heady emotions, racing pulses and heavy breathing results, and all these are an overdose of this chemical.

Is it possible that this chemical explosion could take place the minute you lay your eyes on that one special person for the first time in life? Can there be love at first sight?

When one is younger, it is definitely possible. Later on, probably by the end of the first meeting. But, "It's possible at any age," as Nambiar and Baker believe.