Club Med Phuket

You can feel the mojo the moment you leave Phuket International Airport for

Club Med at Kata Beach.

Club Med Phuket is on the uptake the renovation after the tsunami 26 Dec 2004

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Designed as Thai long-houses with teak and marble furnishings, it has expanded from an international haven for bronzed, adventurous singles to a venue for family getaways,

In fact, you might think you've been teleported into a United Colors of Benetton ad when you reach Club Med. The multi-racial culture is fronted by 80-odd resort staff (GOs or Gentle Organizers) from over 22 countries including America, Japan, Korea and Singapore.

Sun-kissed tourists (GMs or Gentle Members) of all shapes and sizes also throng the pool and bar area with fruit-topped cocktails in hand.

While the cultural exposure is a highlight, the beauty of Club Med is the value-for-money package. For a reasonable price, everything - flight, accommodation, insurance, airport transfer and meals - is covered. Lessons like yoga, salsa dancing and snorkeling are thrown in and for a little extra, and you can eat and drink whatever you want, whenever you want.

Be generous: Buy drinks for everyone at the bar. You can afford to.

Let the holiday begin.

You can't relax if you have to pander to the needs of bored kids whether toddlers or teens. So, Club Med takes the young kids off your hands- Parents, make Club Med's new Kids Village your first stop. Divided into Petit Club Med (ages two to three) and Mini Club Med (four to 10 years old), the 1,000 sq m village has wading pools, play and napping rooms to keep kiddos occupied. Just leave them in the GOs' good hands and go for a break. Remember to pick them up before dinnertime for the fantastic buffet spread.

Some folks blow hundreds of dollars per month on gym subscriptions just to squeeze in a few yoga or body combat sessions after work. Well, laugh in their faces when you get home.

At Club Med, snorkeling trips, archery, tai chi, salsa and trapeze sessions are conducted free throughout the day so make your money's worth and pack them in your schedule. Grannies and granddads will enjoy aqua aerobics - a low-impact routine suitable for all ages. Refer to the notice board for listings and jump in.

Don't let age or embarrassment stop you from attending the sessions.

Iron out the kinks in your body with a massage at the spa centre. Choose from Swedish, Sport or traditional Thai massage and throw in a foot reflexology session while you are at it. Aromatherapy wraps, scrubs and facials are also available.

The international lunch and dinner buffet spread is a star attraction in its own right. Think delicacies like thick juicy scallops, sashimi, chilled Tasmanian crabs, deep-fried frogs' legs or even ostrich steak. There's also the regular pasta, Japanese, Korean and Thai food stations. Dip marshmallow sticks in the chocolate fondue fountain for dessert.

Kata is the beach to be if you can't stand the packed, touristy Patong beach with hovering touts. Located just outside the resort, most of the chairs and umbrellas on the sandy Kata stretch are reserved for Club Med guests.

The Andaman seawater here is so clean; you can immerse up to your neck and still see schools of fish dart by your wriggling toes. Luxuriate with a Thai oil massage or aloe vera rubdown for 400THB at the beach tents. Vendors for parasailing and jet skis are also located nearby.

Many Caucasian tourists sunbathe topless 'regardless of their body imperfections. Wear your shades so you won't be caught staring.

Beach towels are freely available at Club Med.  Stow valuable belongings in your room safe or at the reception desk instead of lugging a bag around.

A holiday would not be complete without shopping excursions.

Patong's streets are lined with pubs and discos with funny names like Banana or Tiger but there are plenty of things to see, eat and buy. For starters, you will be amused to find wannabe scuba divers having classes in mini swimming pools next to the pavement.

Then there are craft shops selling shark jaws and insect specimens. For a dose of the familiar, chill out at MacDonald's or Starbucks.

The Thai shopkeepers are a friendly bunch who speaks a smattering of English. Don't be afraid to bargain 50% off their asking price. It helps to smile and jog their elbows a bit. Otherwise, the walking-away routine works too

Red is for danger. Drivers of red-colored “ tuk-tuks”  offer fixed rates of 400THB for four passengers or more to ply between Kata and Patong. If you decline one of them, his comrades along the road will jeer loudly. Save yourself the embarrassment and go for individual operators (non-red vehicles) instead.

Pasar malam goers will love Chao Fah Variety, Phuket's largest weekend market. Locals dub it Talad Tai Rot (car boot sale) as a bitter reminder of the 1997 financial crisis when the jobless sold their belongings from their car boots. There are numerous food and snack stalls along with accessory, clothing, furniture and pet stalls. It is interesting to note that you can't bargain as much as in Patong because the prices apply to local shoppers too. A pair of slippers costs 55THB while earrings are 10THB per pair.

Hotfoot to nearby attractions or islands for a quick visit.

Most tours will take you to the idyllic Maya Bay made famous by Leonard Di Caprio in the movie The Beach as well as the Viking Cave to see how Thais harvest bird's nests.

Sail on long-tail boats or yachts to another movie-famous bay. This time, it's James Bond Island (Koh Ping-gan) from 1974 flick “The Man With The Golden Gun”. Gape at its signature rocky pinnacle before exploring grotto caves, a mangrove delta and a gypsy village

Board an elephant and trek through the forest. Expect to hang on as it might stop to nibble leaves or more amazingly, stand on its hind legs to pee. This day trip is often coupled with visits to rice farms, rubber plantations or monkey shows.

Most visitors enjoy this world-class theatrical production. You can shop, dine, enjoy elephant rides and watch a Vegas-style show. The owners kept it going even as they suffered financially after the tsunami struck. They knew employees would suffer hardship if they shut down. The buffet is extensive but while some describe the food as very well, others find it mediocre, so if you're fussy, fill your tummy before visiting. http://www.Phuket-fantasea.com/fantasy.html

Simon Cabaret

"She is more of a man than you will ever be and even more of a woman."

Beautiful lady boy’s lip synching to songs and spectacular stage lighting.

Http://www.phuket-simoncabaret.com