Advantages of Single Parenting for Children

Scary reports of the effects on children of being raised in single parent families are common.  While there are disadvantages, single parenting can also provide advantages for kids.

Other research has shown that a home filled with conflict is one of the worst situations for raising children.  If there was major ongoing conflict between the two parents while they were together, living with one parent may reduce anxiety and stress for the kids.  And, if the parent is no longer devoting so much time and effort to the conflict, he or she may have more emotional resources to give to the kids.  If all the kids see is conflicted relationships, this will be their model for their adult relationships.  It's often better for the kids to see no relationship with the parents living apart than to have a poor relationship modeled when the parent stay together.

Kids will learn how to deal with adversity and change since they lived through the divorce of their parents or from the stigma of being in a home where there has always been just one parent. Your child's life may not be the perfect picture  that you and he had envisioned, but there still can be loads of fun and love in your home. 

A single parent may actually have more time for the kids that a married parent would have.  Since there is no longer a spouse around at mealtime, meals don't have to be as substantial and can be structured around kid-friendly ingredients. If your former partner was not very involved with housework, you may have more time since you now have one less person to care for.  Financial worries may actually be fewer.  Yes, you have less income, but you also have total control over the expenditures that you may not have had while with your partner. 

Having two different homes can actually be an advantage for your kids.  They will get to observe how two families live and hopefully, incorporate the best of both households into their own future adult homes.

Kids whose biological parents are not together often will have a step parent or maybe two.  This can be a plus for your children as they get to see other lifestyles and participate in experiences that they may not have with the parents. And, the larger the number of involved adults in the child's life, the better.

Out of necessity, children who live in a single parent home become independent faster than their peers.  The lone parent juggles many activities and has to earn a living, too.  So, the kids have to learn how to fend for themselves on occasion such as helping with chores or at least, how to run the microwave.  Children who are raised in two-parent homes, especially if there is a stay-at-home mother, often don't get as many opportunities to learn about managing a home.  And, your kids get the added lesson that they need to be able to take care of themselves, since romantic relationships can break up, and they may find themselves on their own. 

A major benefit for kids with two homes is that they often get two holidays for every holiday.  Kids enjoy having two Christmases where they get two sets of gifts, often getting more presents than they would have if the parents were still together. 

The ideal family with two parents can be a great situation for children.  But, single parent families offer unique advantages for kids.  While empathizing with your kids about having to live in two separate households, you can also discuss some of the good things that can come from living in a single parent home.  As long as there is lots of love and positive discipline, your children will benefit from the advantages of single parenting.