Body talk, it's what givesw you the upper edge.

How is your communication, what messages are you sending to others, do you really want the new job that you have spent hours preparing your resume for?

Do you know that the words you are using only make up about 7% of what you are trying to communicate; the other 93% is what you communicate through your body language, your facial expressions and the tone in your voice.

Do you ever spend time just watching people, watch their faces and you can learn a great deal, watch how they converse with others and you can tell exactly what the outcome of the conversation will be, even if you can’t hear a word. There are some who advocate that body language allows you to read the persons mind, what is happening is that without even the slightest intention their body language is such that they are giving clues away to what they are thinking, they are into self sabotage in a big way.

Now you might say, can’t tell if your talking to them on the telephone; wrong the tone of voice is the same, you see the screwed up nose, the drawn face, the sweating hands, hand in the pocket or the fist closed, still come through via the voice.

When you first meet someone new as much as 55% to 70% of the lasting impression you give comes from not what you said, but from your body language; this is ever so important if you are selling products or if you are at a new job interview. Probably you have experienced that instant dislike of someone the first time you met them, often referred to as gut-feeling, but it is more to do with the body language. Body language, like squinty eyes, staring around at the surroundings, not looking at you directly in the eyes, tight lips, shifting from one leg to another, body language you see then sends messages to your subconscious and you knows the answer, your not too fond of the person.

How about children and the way they are sometimes spoken to, how about you, maybe you can relate?  Mothers just screaming and saying “I just cannot take any more of your unruly behavior”, how about Dad standing with his hand on his hips and in a stern voice saying, “you are so useless can’t you do anything right?”  It is not always the words, it is the message that is coming from the tone of voice and from the body language that’s gives the damaging messages.

Have your children told you they just do not like your new associate, children are excellent at picking up the body language, the messages are sent directly to their subconscious far quicker, their reaction to most is more often from the body language than the spoken word.

How many times have you just missed that promotion, you totally believe that you have worked to deserve a raise, you are sick and tired or others getting things before you do, you believe that food fortune is never going to come your way. Stop, what is your body language doing, perhaps instead of being assertive you are showing aggressive non verbal cues. Assertive communication provides a win-win situation, it involves listening, as well as speaking, it is about showing respect or the other party as well as having respect for yourself. An assertive person is one who can look you in the eye, can hold their body upright and consciously relax their shoulders, can keep their face relaxed  and speak at a normal conversational manner.

Assertiveness builds self-confidence and self confidence comes more from body language than your verbal communication. Self confidence gives you the strength to do the things you want.

Stop your body talk standing in the way of your future, be aware of the signs you are sending, deep breathe, relax and watch your dreams unfold.